Well, I logged in this morning after a walk to do some writing and my views have jumped to 49 today! How exciting when it was zero yesterday!
I just sat down after making my Vi shake this morning. 10 oz. nonfat milk, three scoops of Vi-Shape mix (because I have a rather hefty appetite and I don't want to be hungry in an hour -- I know my body), some frozen tropical fruit (certainly not my favorite blend), about half a teaspoon of raw sugar and my super awesome new blender! I also went on a 25-30 min walk this morning. I'm building up to running my first 5k in October, but I have "started" a running program several times before (there goes that inconsistent bone again) and I think it's best for me to walk at a brisk pace for at least 30 minutes a day at this point to reacquaint my body with exercise again. After all, when I graduated college two years ago, I was working out hard for 2-3 hours 5x a week ... and I haven't worked out since.
As I was walking this morning with my music blaring in my ears, my mind was mulling over a million and one different things; it's amazing the clarity that comes from exercise and a good tune. When I was getting dressed this morning to go on my walk, I was again faced with the devastation of dressing this body that I'm currently loathing. You see those banners with quotations about being a tiger who earned her stripes and that it's important to feel good about yourself no matter how you look, but the bottom line is that when you're uncomfortable in your skin, you're uncomfortable in your skin and there's not a whole lot anybody can say to change it. But as I was walking (and feeling self-conscious as the people in the passing cars watched me), it occurred to me that I should savor my body in it's current state because this body I'm wearing ... it tells my story. And it's a really good story! It's a story about the many different places I've been, the many different phases of my life that I've lived, and the two absolutely perfect and beautiful children that make our home the absolutely wonderful place to be that it is. And this body will someday change someone's life, whoever it may be, because it will be a testimony to what a body can do. It will be a testimony to what you can do when you decide to make a change for the better.
I weighed myself this morning, but I'm going to keep my measurements, weight, and before pictures to myself. Usually my OCD would keep me from revealing them until it's been either exactly one week or exactly 30 days, but this whole experience is about stepping outside of my comfort zone so perhaps I'll reveal the first phase of my change at 13 days or some other random number. Regardless of when I reveal, it'll be exciting nonetheless.
One day at a time. One step at a time.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
The last day before the big jump
It's rather amusing to me that I have begun and re-begun this blog two or three times already. That fact is where I'll begin this entry.
I am not a consistent person. At all. As a matter of fact, the only thing(s) I have ever done consistently throughout my life are eating and sleeping. And talking ... that's it. So the fact that I created this blog in 2010 and never kept up with it doesn't surprise me one bit. But I'm on the verge of something new and big ... for real this time.
Tonight, I sit here scared half to death of what lies ahead. You see, I gave birth to my second child -- a daughter, Juliana Grace, or "Gracie" to us -- ten weeks ago. As I've said in previous entries, I gained 60 pounds while pregnant with Jaxson. Well, with Gracie, I only gained 45 ... but I was 20 pounds heavier when I got pregnant with her than I was when I got pregnant with Jaxson. She wins. Aaaaaaaaand, to add to the fun, she was my second and I'm almost 27. Things don't bounce back nor do they look the same as they once did when I was 23. Joy. Anyways, the first 20 pounds of what remained from my second pregnancy fell off like a charm, and MAN was I excited. I thought to myself those first two weeks, "getting rid of this weight is going to be SO easy!" I was wrong ... I haven't lost a pound since. So, as I said in the title of this point, today is the last day before the big jump. I recently purchased the Shape Kit from Visalus -- they have dimed the 90 day Body by Vi Challenge. The shake mix has been sitting in my study for a week now while I waited on a super cool blender in which you can blend an individual serving in a glamorous hot pink cup. Well, the blender came in today so now I have absolutely nothing holding me back from getting this show on the road. And, tonight, I went to Target and purchased two brand new outfits to wear when I start my running program. It's game time!
But, like I said, I am not a consistent person. So you can imagine the fear I feel sitting here at the beginning of what is bound to be a rather long journey ... but I can't do this anymore. I am absolutely miserable with my appearance and my body, and I have entirely too much life to live for that. I want the energy and motivation to accomplish anything. I want to be vivacious and euphoric for the sake of my children. I want sex with the lights on. I want my Husband not to be able to keep his hands off of me, not only because of a rockin bod but because I exude confidence that is almost tangible. These are the things I want and they come at a price. They come at the price of part of me dying to have what it is I truly want. So here goes nothing.
I thought to purchase a brand new journal in which to diary my progress and my journey, but then it occurred to me that I have this journal right here that works perfectly. Not only that, but making my journey public explodes the amount of accountability I feel to myself and anyone who feels the need to share in this with me. I'll post my measurements in the morning, and I'll weigh in & measure every Friday morning. I'll also try to diary as often as possible. Of course, with three kids ages 9, (almost) 4, and 2 months ... Lord knows how much I'll actually get. Stay tuned!!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
I am not a consistent person. At all. As a matter of fact, the only thing(s) I have ever done consistently throughout my life are eating and sleeping. And talking ... that's it. So the fact that I created this blog in 2010 and never kept up with it doesn't surprise me one bit. But I'm on the verge of something new and big ... for real this time.
Tonight, I sit here scared half to death of what lies ahead. You see, I gave birth to my second child -- a daughter, Juliana Grace, or "Gracie" to us -- ten weeks ago. As I've said in previous entries, I gained 60 pounds while pregnant with Jaxson. Well, with Gracie, I only gained 45 ... but I was 20 pounds heavier when I got pregnant with her than I was when I got pregnant with Jaxson. She wins. Aaaaaaaaand, to add to the fun, she was my second and I'm almost 27. Things don't bounce back nor do they look the same as they once did when I was 23. Joy. Anyways, the first 20 pounds of what remained from my second pregnancy fell off like a charm, and MAN was I excited. I thought to myself those first two weeks, "getting rid of this weight is going to be SO easy!" I was wrong ... I haven't lost a pound since. So, as I said in the title of this point, today is the last day before the big jump. I recently purchased the Shape Kit from Visalus -- they have dimed the 90 day Body by Vi Challenge. The shake mix has been sitting in my study for a week now while I waited on a super cool blender in which you can blend an individual serving in a glamorous hot pink cup. Well, the blender came in today so now I have absolutely nothing holding me back from getting this show on the road. And, tonight, I went to Target and purchased two brand new outfits to wear when I start my running program. It's game time!
But, like I said, I am not a consistent person. So you can imagine the fear I feel sitting here at the beginning of what is bound to be a rather long journey ... but I can't do this anymore. I am absolutely miserable with my appearance and my body, and I have entirely too much life to live for that. I want the energy and motivation to accomplish anything. I want to be vivacious and euphoric for the sake of my children. I want sex with the lights on. I want my Husband not to be able to keep his hands off of me, not only because of a rockin bod but because I exude confidence that is almost tangible. These are the things I want and they come at a price. They come at the price of part of me dying to have what it is I truly want. So here goes nothing.
I thought to purchase a brand new journal in which to diary my progress and my journey, but then it occurred to me that I have this journal right here that works perfectly. Not only that, but making my journey public explodes the amount of accountability I feel to myself and anyone who feels the need to share in this with me. I'll post my measurements in the morning, and I'll weigh in & measure every Friday morning. I'll also try to diary as often as possible. Of course, with three kids ages 9, (almost) 4, and 2 months ... Lord knows how much I'll actually get. Stay tuned!!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
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