Day 1

Well, I logged in this morning after a walk to do some writing and my views have jumped to 49 today! How exciting when it was zero yesterday!

I just sat down after making my Vi shake this morning. 10 oz. nonfat milk, three scoops of Vi-Shape mix (because I have a rather hefty appetite and I don't want to be hungry in an hour -- I know my body), some frozen tropical fruit (certainly not my favorite blend), about half a teaspoon of raw sugar and my super awesome new blender! I also went on a 25-30 min walk this morning. I'm building up to running my first 5k in October, but I have "started" a running program several times before (there goes that inconsistent bone again) and I think it's best for me to walk at a brisk pace for at least 30 minutes a day at this point to reacquaint my body with exercise again. After all, when I graduated college two years ago, I was working out hard for 2-3 hours 5x a week ... and I haven't worked out since.

As I was walking this morning with my music blaring in my ears, my mind was mulling over a million and one different things; it's amazing the clarity that comes from exercise and a good tune. When I was getting dressed this morning to go on my walk, I was again faced with the devastation of dressing this body that I'm currently loathing. You see those banners with quotations about being a tiger who earned her stripes and that it's important to feel good about yourself no matter how you look, but the bottom line is that when you're uncomfortable in your skin, you're uncomfortable in your skin and there's not a whole lot anybody can say to change it. But as I was walking (and feeling self-conscious as the people in the passing cars watched me), it occurred to me that I should savor my body in it's current state because this body I'm wearing ... it tells my story. And it's a really good story! It's a story about the many different places I've been, the many different phases of my life that I've lived, and the two absolutely perfect and beautiful children that make our home the absolutely wonderful place to be that it is. And this body will someday change someone's life, whoever it may be, because it will be a testimony to what a body can do. It will be a testimony to what you can do when you decide to make a change for the better.

I weighed myself this morning, but I'm going to keep my measurements, weight, and before pictures to myself. Usually my OCD would keep me from revealing them until it's been either exactly one week or exactly 30 days, but this whole experience is about stepping outside of my comfort zone so perhaps I'll reveal the first phase of my change at 13 days or some other random number. Regardless of when I reveal, it'll be exciting nonetheless.

One day at a time. One step at a time.